It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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