i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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