how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
