I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I understand Curling. That high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want a musical about memes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
