oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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