i was born a porn star she said
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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