omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
