FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
