so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
