DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
