I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
