I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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