yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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