sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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