You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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