i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
