I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend