i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic