evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"