how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
