isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)