rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
