i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
