Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i wish my penis had a tongue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i wish my penis had a tongue http://tfl.nu/t048
  Replies (30) Good night (4210) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right? http://tfl.nu/mqjb
  Replies (19) Good night (2234) Bad night (6288)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/e9u8
  Replies (28) Good night (3847) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (55) Good night (1310) Bad night (9900)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (7098) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here. http://tfl.nu/o8um
  Replies (8) Good night (4026) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend. http://tfl.nu/rr39
  Replies (9) Good night (1084) Bad night (2126)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity. http://tfl.nu/w288
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big. http://tfl.nu/i8v0
  Replies (10) Good night (1097) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking. (306): There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol http://tfl.nu/d3jk
  Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha http://tfl.nu/xonb
  Replies (1) Good night (777) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here (702): Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze. http://tfl.nu/43v0
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally. http://tfl.nu/7t3l
  Replies (6) Good night (596) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later" http://tfl.nu/n53s
  Replies (0) Good night (649) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (221)

Randomize