I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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