Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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(208): View more from Idaho

just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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(509): View more from Washington

I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.

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(+61): View more from Australia

He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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(347): View more from New York

I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.

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(578): View more from

You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel

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