Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
