is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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