Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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