Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
