I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
