Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
