He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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