When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
