If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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