My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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