I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize