I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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