it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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