In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner