Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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