I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing