it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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