Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
