I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
