i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this will be a night to untag.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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