my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
