Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
