There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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