Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
