...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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