you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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