I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
