We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
