hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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