i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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