bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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