How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
