i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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