i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
