Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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