Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
