In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
