you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
