I accidentally had phone sex last night
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
