is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
