what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
